…or so the story goes. I am led to believe that while the acquisition of perfection is impossible, the pursuit of it is somehow still important…ok… Anyway, for far too long I have coasted. Content with my lot in life. Happy with my friends, and family. I felt no need to push myself or diversify my experience or pursue the unattainable. Unfortunately much in the same way a blade of grass can’t stand against a tornado, I am unable to stem the flow of time, and the steady march of society. My refusal to participate in the most “normal” of social conventions won’t stop my companions from doing the same, and far from halting the machine that is business enterprise, my disinterest in the idea of careers is only serving to hurt me. Now I am quite good at ignoring most signs, so when I noticed these things for myself it took very little effort to shut my eyes to reality. However in the past week, I’ve had two friends, and one family member essentially tell me to “move my ass” (pardon my vulgarity…..or not).
Never let it be said that I didn’t listen.
Therefore, I am taking the initiative to address my most egregious faults. So without further ado, I give you my faults as they are:
1. I am severely lazy. Slothfulness doesn’t quite give it scope. I prefer the word largesse because even in it’s pronunciation one must deaden the tongue and drag it through one’s mouth, such is my way.
2. I am unorganized. …..pretty self explanatory.
3. I am generally unmotivated. When my father made this observation once, I countered with this analogy. Say for instance that I desire to pursue a female love interest. A motivated man would most fervently pursue this woman. However, if I have no such woman to draw me in, am I supposed to run hither and thither ardently seeking the love of women that I have no interest in? Does this not seem disingenuous to you?
My father in his abundance of wisdom replied, Alright son, so at the moment your belle has yet to arrive to the ball, but is this women (currently relegated to the future) not herself looking for a person with distinct characteristics? Perhaps the same woman you are waiting to pursue is waiting to be pursued by you, but if you are not prepared to meet this opportunity will she not turn from you and look another way?
If you didn’t follow along….no matter, the epiphany was meant for me anyway. ;)
4. I’m out of shape. I despise exercise “just for the sake of it”. Fitness guru’s always talk about how great they feel after a workout, but running suuuuuccks!!
5. I am a hedonist. Everyday I make judgments based on what action will result in the most pleasure for me. I’ve skipped work, I’ve ditched school, I’ve ignored friends, sometimes all so I can lie in bed and watch tv. It’s a problem, I’m aware.
I think I’ll stop at the big 5. Some of you people know me to be superman, and I’d hate to do too much to disillusion you. I am far from perfect, but that was always enough for me. I was (and still am) very comfortable in who I am. So what’s changed? Everything. A friend of mine had a baby the other day. Another friend got married. This one here got a job hundreds of miles away, that one there is fighting for our country. All of them are steadily moving forward, leaving me behind.
So I will address my faults. And I’ll trudge up the hill into the smog of adulthood, with the hope that there are still some lovely moments to be had with the people I’ve come to love. Just know, I would have gladly stayed in the valley and played kickball.
In conclusion I would like to make two sweeping declarations.
1. I’ve decided to start a running streak. I plan to run everyday for one year.
2. I am decreasing the total amount of Television I watch a day to two hours.
ugh….kill me now.